You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end
Jan 28, 2009
Jan 27, 2009
light at the end of the tunnel
So surreal being one way for so long.
And then just suddenly coming to an acceptance that maybe.
This isn't the way things are suppose to be.
Well not exactly anyway.
But who's to say what's really wrong or right?
Society.Experience.Or do you just go with that gut feeling?
I've had indirect direction dictated to me all my life from a Christian background.
And at many points in my life I've leaned towards that faith.
Even when I wasn't in accordance with much of the beliefs which is more times than less.
However these last years of my life have been extremely significant.
Moreover the people around me.
I've had encounters with what I believed was really love.
Irregardless of popular belief.
Far from perfection or the outline of what one should be.
Comfortablity to unwavering effect in all presences.
From first encounter all the way through.
To be called out on shortcomings.
Yet still cherished.
Despite what may come.
Sometimes improvement and readily made commitments tried.
Something rarely practiced.
Maybe if I didn't know better all these promises would have followed through.
It's impossible to truly love two.
Self sacrifice was always something I could emmulate.
To be placed first each time.
To serve me like I served you.
If not at my side.
Always an instant call away.
Salvation without hesitation.
Because that love didn't boast.
100% given and if possible 100% fallen short.
Wanted beyond measure.
Loved so big it confuses.
Too much of anything isn't good.
Learnt this the hard way.
Love pushed me away.
I loved too hard even if the replay didn't appear that way.
So I often gambled.
And layed my head in places I was forbidden to stay.
It's one thing to be loved but another to be respected.
100% given and if possible 100% fallen short.
Imagine from bliss.
To being forgivenly dismissed.
Placed to associate with brokenness, hurt, and anger.
To question How did we get here?
Answer the question from it's conception.
Love cannot exist without respect in all its form.
All must genuinely want the same.
Communication gained.
Guessing strains love's reins.
To push and pull just as hard to gain.
Never an easy thing.
People are made individuals for that reasoning.
Individuality compliments another when love is present.
I miss.
Unrequited-requited love in it's most ridiculous form.
But I need to be made strong.
This place.
Something new.
Learning things I thought I knew.
I am stubborn,complicated,rude,defiant and selfish.
Yet still clinging.
Bearer of bad news.
I am no good.
I've broken you.
It would be easier to stay where someone old knew.
Even if all wrongs were never right.
I wanted to be pushed like I was.
Made to exist.
It's obscure finally getting what you ask for.
From a source unknown.
Unexpectancy at it's best.
Thread unfamiliar ground.
I muse awhile longer.
And then just suddenly coming to an acceptance that maybe.
This isn't the way things are suppose to be.
Well not exactly anyway.
But who's to say what's really wrong or right?
Society.Experience.Or do you just go with that gut feeling?
I've had indirect direction dictated to me all my life from a Christian background.
And at many points in my life I've leaned towards that faith.
Even when I wasn't in accordance with much of the beliefs which is more times than less.
However these last years of my life have been extremely significant.
Moreover the people around me.
I've had encounters with what I believed was really love.
Irregardless of popular belief.
Far from perfection or the outline of what one should be.
Comfortablity to unwavering effect in all presences.
From first encounter all the way through.
To be called out on shortcomings.
Yet still cherished.
Despite what may come.
Sometimes improvement and readily made commitments tried.
Something rarely practiced.
Maybe if I didn't know better all these promises would have followed through.
It's impossible to truly love two.
Self sacrifice was always something I could emmulate.
To be placed first each time.
To serve me like I served you.
If not at my side.
Always an instant call away.
Salvation without hesitation.
Because that love didn't boast.
100% given and if possible 100% fallen short.
Wanted beyond measure.
Loved so big it confuses.
Too much of anything isn't good.
Learnt this the hard way.
Love pushed me away.
I loved too hard even if the replay didn't appear that way.
So I often gambled.
And layed my head in places I was forbidden to stay.
It's one thing to be loved but another to be respected.
100% given and if possible 100% fallen short.
Imagine from bliss.
To being forgivenly dismissed.
Placed to associate with brokenness, hurt, and anger.
To question How did we get here?
Answer the question from it's conception.
Love cannot exist without respect in all its form.
All must genuinely want the same.
Communication gained.
Guessing strains love's reins.
To push and pull just as hard to gain.
Never an easy thing.
People are made individuals for that reasoning.
Individuality compliments another when love is present.
I miss.
Unrequited-requited love in it's most ridiculous form.
But I need to be made strong.
This place.
Something new.
Learning things I thought I knew.
I am stubborn,complicated,rude,defiant and selfish.
Yet still clinging.
Bearer of bad news.
I am no good.
I've broken you.
It would be easier to stay where someone old knew.
Even if all wrongs were never right.
I wanted to be pushed like I was.
Made to exist.
It's obscure finally getting what you ask for.
From a source unknown.
Unexpectancy at it's best.
Thread unfamiliar ground.
I muse awhile longer.
Jan 22, 2009
all or NOTHING or it's all for NOTHING
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us
most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are
you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing
small does not serve the world. There is nothing
enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel
insecure around you. We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in
some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let
our own light shine, we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same. As we are liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.”
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us
most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are
you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing
small does not serve the world. There is nothing
enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel
insecure around you. We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in
some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let
our own light shine, we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same. As we are liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.”
Jan 21, 2009
food for thought
Some asked me my view on the following this morning. This was my take. My opinion.
People who have full bloom AIDS ought to be isolated from society. Agree/ Disagree
Agree.People who have full bloom AIDS ought to be isolated from society in my opinion.
There still is a very large stigma attached to the AIDS virus. It is agreeable that from times gone to present society has become more sociably aware and educated about the AIDS virus from all genres and cultures. Despite all the awareness when the AIDS virus is mentioned most people still associate it with death and sickness irrelevant to if it is in the HIV stage of full bloom stage so to speak. This in my opinion will never change because no one wants to put themselves knowingly at risk to be susceptible to the virus in any way. Furthermore the stigma attached to the AIDS virus is not only ever clear because of the association with death and sickness but because of the media itself. They promote abstinence of sexual activity one minute and then to protect yourself the next. Which is apparent that they realized you cannot prevent persons from having sex but you must urge them to be safe when doing so. But then to say protection doesn't really protect you from the AIDS virus. Really there is no running away from it. There is no known cure for the AIDS virus but there is treatment that allow for even persons with full bloom AIDS to function in society just as someone who doesn't have the virus. That doesn't make anyone feel secure except the person with the virus that they can go about their lives. This is why there will always be a stigma because there are allowances for people with the virus to stay hidden. The AIDS virus in my opinion is like no other so why afford people the availabilities to be treated like others who may have cancer or some other disease.
A disease like Cancer can in fact be fatal however it is impossible to pass on the disease except in some cases through a hereditary gene. With that being said putting it in a totally different category from the AIDS virus. Persons can be treated for cancer and function in society just as others. Not to totally disregard the stigma of death that can be associated with types of cancer also but individuals will not be worried about becoming susceptible to in most cases that is. The same association can be attached to someone with the sickle cell virus which too can be fatal but cannot infect others. The acronym that defines AIDS means acquired immune deficiency syndrome in short this means that your body is increasingly susceptible to infections that are carried through the blood causing a breakdown of the body which can be fatal once left untreated. However once a person has full blown AIDS treatment will only be advantageous for a matter of time until the body counteracts the treatment and makes itself in many cases immune to the drug themselves. This time span can be anywhere from days to years. Full blown AIDS heights the risk of affecting others regardless of treatment and I for one am not comfortable with those persons being allowed to function as others in society. For example when persons that have been infected with the TB virus get to that fatal stage they are quarantined for the welfare of others rather than risk an outbreak. It is safe to say it's far too late to combat the problem in that regard with the AIDS virus there is already an outbreak. So let not keep making the problem worse by allowing individuals in society to function as persons not infected.
It is inevitable that persons who are aware that they have the AIDS virus will still have sex and some will never even begin treatments. That being the case the virus will spread and persons will develop full blown AIDS and the cycle will continue. It is known that no contraceptive is 100% effective and none can protect from the AIDS virus so it will continue to invade society unless combated in some other way. Isolation may seem cruel but to make society aware and leave the decision up to individuals not infected to choose if they would like to associate or treat these individuals like the rest of society is entirely up to them. But isolation in my opinion is letting it be known to encourage free will. If persons knew who were infected I would undoubtedly believe that 10 out of 10 people would chose not to be sexually involved or share a syringe. The world's estimated population 6.7 billion people in the world and it is estimated that 40 million of those people are infected with the AIDS virus. If these 40 million people were globally known to be infected with the AIDS virus I believe that it would stay suitably among those individuals. As previously stated eventually full blown AIDS is fatal wither you wish to accept it or not. These infected people eventually will live whatever expectancy of life treated or untreated but the purpose is to contain the virus. In efforts of not creating new cases of the virus itself over time.
20 years ago during what was now known as the AIDS epidemic when it was believed that AIDS came from and was only contracted through the gay community. 22 million people have died since that time 20 years ago. Today the number is substantially more significant in growth of persons living with the virus. Some argued that the figure today also includes persons from that time still living with the virus. Whatever the case maybe I believe the reality of the situation has grown beyond initial control because of the state of mind of the infected population and those not. The AIDS virus deeply effects the mental state of individuals infected whether it be mental stability or instability. Most people would take the knowledge of being infected with the virus as a death sentence. We all know that we cannot live forever but the point of view changes when one knows how they will meet death. The greatest emotion that a person infected with the AIDS virus goes through is without a doubt fear. Not only fear for their life but fear of how they will be treated in society not only by strangers but more importantly their peers being family and friends. The fear if not being socially accepted or being scorned and looked down upon is a risk that no one would like to take by choice. This in itself is not easy on anyone's psyche. Being said it is only normal that most persons infected with AIDS virus initial emotion next to fear would be anger which can be at themselves or for whomever they feel is responsible for transmitting the virus. It is common that a person infected with the AIDS virus state of mind is usually unstable and in many cases fear and anger lead to a vengeful disposition. Whereas these person take it upon themselves to knowingly infect other people who are unaware because they feel as though someone did the same to them. Nonetheless you must take into consideration the masses the latter of the population who are not infected and those who are not even aware that they are infected with the virus. This personally for me is the biggest risk factor. Individuals who do not know they are infected with the AIDS virus are in fact living their lives in whatever capacity they would deem as normal without having the mental or physical burdens that the AIDS virus possesses. Then there are persons infected with the AIDS virus who were either born with the virus or in some instances rape victims. These people have played no part in their situation and cannot be held accountable in any way.
I empathize with persons in every situation living with the AIDS virus but that does not make it okay to keep their health status as far as being infected with the AIDS virus confidential. There is no counter attack for persons infected with the AIDS virus besides medication that allows them to function as if they were not infected. It is apparent that this method of control is not effective. It should be made mandatory that every individual from every society take a test for the AIDS virus. It is not enough to make the infected comfortable but the overall aim should be to eliminate the increasing growth of new cases. In my opinion we can only ever reach that goal by public isolation in my definition of outing persons infected with the AIDS virus and leaving individual isolation in whatever regard up to the masses. It is estimated that 7,000 new cases are recorded every day. What we don't know is hurting us. You decide.
Jan 14, 2009
pop immortalized
"I think everyone should like everybody."
"The idea is not to live forever, it is to create something that will."
"The idea is not to live forever, it is to create something that will."
Andy Warhol
Aug .6.1928-Feb.22.1987
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now"
"Iris"-1998
The Goo Goo
1986-Present
"I'm a mess but God is dealing with me every day. That's what all these songs are about: problem, cause and solution.”
Lauryn Hill
1975-Present
"What was freely given to me, I feely give back."
Erykah Badu
1971-Present
These beauties have always inspired me.
I miss that 'Pop/Rock Age' today...
Icons, Music and Art aren't the same.
Jan 13, 2009
Love Jones
"I gather up each sound you left behind and stretch them on our bed. Each night I breathe you and become high."
-Sonia Sanchez
The first time I heard that quote I had to rewind...Fav!!
Yea, 1997 back in the day when VHS was the shizz...lol
It's from one of my favorite urban movies of all time.
"Love Jones" starring Larenz Tate and Nia Long,..
Props to the conotation made to my favorite rural love story..."When Harry Met Sally"
Critics acclaimed this a hip When Harry Met Sally.
The movie in itself more profound in more ways than one.
Exploriong the notion of love at first sight.
Spoken word never spoken so truly from the lips of young poets.
Two individuals spiritually connected to one another from their first encounter.
But they've got to figure out if it's a " love thing" or just " kicking it" type thing.
The irony that they both really crave that "love type thing"
But who's bold enough to step up first.
Along with all the complications of what sex.love. and friends bring to the table.
Pride doesn't factor here just strength.
Are you strong enough to?
Get Together.Fall Apart.Start Over.
I don't know for some reason today I'm feeling that Love Jones type vibe.
What is Love Jones exactly MUCH more than a movie.
Love Jones existed long before the movie...inspiration of prehaps.
Love Jones is when you're feigning for someone in every way possible...almost just has the wording itself gives off
Jonesin' like you need a fix but the only fix for a love jones is the object of one's affection..everything else just temporary and in no comparison to that love....this ecstatic bliss cloud 9 type feeling just that ultimate height of needing love.
Nia Long's character 'Nina" asks Larenz Tate's character "Darius"- "Why is everything so urgent with you?"
Darius-"Let me tell you somethin'. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker."
LOL....to articulate the expression of love and swearing in the same sentence can only be done with such meaning in an urban film and no better no worse Love Jones nailed it and not only this scene but others. You can't picture Julia Roberts and Richard Genre's character's in any film doing that it just doesn't work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKSYmj-w5NI
Blues for Nia(Brotha to the Night)
Dayuuummm...love that verse.
I know what is is to be on a Love Jones like seriously...like damn right now or shit ain't shit type thing...going out your mind crazy..can't sleep..never knew someone could make you feel this way...YEAH..
Have You?
Love means the warmth of the sun,
the aroma of a rose,
the breeze of the sea,
but as you can see,
it never means the same for anyone.
Love aquires its true meaning
by experiencing it for the first time,
because only then you can define it.
-Sonia Sanchez
The first time I heard that quote I had to rewind...Fav!!
Yea, 1997 back in the day when VHS was the shizz...lol
It's from one of my favorite urban movies of all time.
"Love Jones" starring Larenz Tate and Nia Long,..
Props to the conotation made to my favorite rural love story..."When Harry Met Sally"
Critics acclaimed this a hip When Harry Met Sally.
The movie in itself more profound in more ways than one.
Exploriong the notion of love at first sight.
Spoken word never spoken so truly from the lips of young poets.
Two individuals spiritually connected to one another from their first encounter.
But they've got to figure out if it's a " love thing" or just " kicking it" type thing.
The irony that they both really crave that "love type thing"
But who's bold enough to step up first.
Along with all the complications of what sex.love. and friends bring to the table.
Pride doesn't factor here just strength.
Are you strong enough to?
Get Together.Fall Apart.Start Over.
I don't know for some reason today I'm feeling that Love Jones type vibe.
What is Love Jones exactly MUCH more than a movie.
Love Jones existed long before the movie...inspiration of prehaps.
Love Jones is when you're feigning for someone in every way possible...almost just has the wording itself gives off
Jonesin' like you need a fix but the only fix for a love jones is the object of one's affection..everything else just temporary and in no comparison to that love....this ecstatic bliss cloud 9 type feeling just that ultimate height of needing love.
Nia Long's character 'Nina" asks Larenz Tate's character "Darius"- "Why is everything so urgent with you?"
Darius-"Let me tell you somethin'. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker."
LOL....to articulate the expression of love and swearing in the same sentence can only be done with such meaning in an urban film and no better no worse Love Jones nailed it and not only this scene but others. You can't picture Julia Roberts and Richard Genre's character's in any film doing that it just doesn't work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKSYmj-w5NI
Blues for Nia(Brotha to the Night)
Dayuuummm...love that verse.
I know what is is to be on a Love Jones like seriously...like damn right now or shit ain't shit type thing...going out your mind crazy..can't sleep..never knew someone could make you feel this way...YEAH..
Have You?
Love means the warmth of the sun,
the aroma of a rose,
the breeze of the sea,
but as you can see,
it never means the same for anyone.
Love aquires its true meaning
by experiencing it for the first time,
because only then you can define it.
Jan 11, 2009
Jan 9, 2009
you don't have to always hold your head higher than your heart
I swear to you it's okay to leap before looking and not be assured that there's solid ground beneath your feet. And if while you're falling you gasp for breath and prehaps even second guess. When you look back at what you left behind gwad knows the view coming at you a million miles per second will be nothing less than beautiful.
I awoke in beauty's arms and he kissed my cheek. I was alot more prepared than I thought. I welcome this eternal bliss everyday, every moment, this life is so worthy of every kiss. Aw....love you!
I awoke in beauty's arms and he kissed my cheek. I was alot more prepared than I thought. I welcome this eternal bliss everyday, every moment, this life is so worthy of every kiss. Aw....love you!Jan 8, 2009
cloud 9....
So..yea she done dun it again.
Love, love, love, this track!!!
Missed this Nubian Queen...she's back...
Therapy
He lays me on the couch and says
“how has your day been?Tell me your problems;
I’ll help you solve them.
Come on let’s talk about it”
He sits next to me and smiles.
Listens to all of my words,
Relaxes all of my nerves.
Like breathe in (breathe in)
Let it go (shout it out)
Take deeps breathes and real slow, calm down.
Close my eyes (soft spoke)
Ease my mind (take control)
From my body please
Work your Psychology
You’re taking good care of me
Always been there for me
Boy I can’t bear to leave
Cause I need your therapy
You’ve given me everything
So much I ever could need
Without you I’m so weak in the knees
I need your therapy
Oh oh oh oh oh oh (I-I-I-I need your therapy)
oh oh oh oh oh oh (I-I-I-I need you to come and lay hands on me)
oh oh oh oh oh oh (I-I-I-I need your therapy-therapy-therapy)
oh oh oh oh oh …..(hey)
He puts his hand on my lower back
his face in my neck and
Says something to make me laugh
Makes me forget I was mad
His touch feels so right
It’s like he’s reading my mind
I need him all the time
Like breathe in (breathe in)
Let it go (shout it out)
Take deeps breathes and real slow, calm down.
Close my eyes (soft spoke?)
Ease my mind (take control)
From my body please (?)
Work your Psychology
You’re taking good care of me
Always been there for me
Boy I can’t bear to leave
Cause I need your therapy
You’ve given me everything
So much I ever could need
Without you I’m so weak in the knees
I need your therapy
Oh oh oh oh oh oh (I-I-I-I need your therapy)
oh oh oh oh oh oh (I-I-I-I need you to come and lay hands on me)
oh oh oh oh oh oh (I-I-I-I need your therapy-therapy-therapy)
oh oh oh oh oh …..yeaah yeaah
When it feels like I’m losing power
When I feels like a wilting flower
The way you touch me says I’m there for you
It heals me just to hear you say “I Love You”
You’re taking good care of me
Always been there for me
Boy I can’t bear to leave
Cause I need your therapy
You’ve given me everything
So much I ever could need
Without you I’m so weak in the knees
I need your therapy
You’re taking good care of me
Always been there for me
Boy I can’t bear to leave
Cause I need your therapy
You’ve given me everything
So much I ever could need
Without you I’m so weak in the knees
I need your therapy
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh …………
Cop tha shizz
Discipline- Self control... punishment...A whip used in the practice of self-mortification... or an instrument of chastisement
So...when Ms.Jackson was asked why so much about sex and love on this album she replied- "I love love and I love sex"AHH...my sentiments EXACTLY!!!
Feelin' these two
Status:*****
Discipline
I misbehaved, done some things I know I shouldn't do
I touched myself, even though you told me not to
You commanded me to wait for you I tried
But I can smell you on my sheets
Taste you on my skin so vividly
Daddy I disobeyed you
Now I want you to come punish me
Babe I need some discipline tonight
Don't hold backI've been very bad
Make me cry
Oooo...
Got to make me cry
Oooo...
Babe
Oh... misbehaved
And my punishment should fit my crime
Tie me to something
Take off all my clothes
Daddy I want you to take your time (I'm scared)
My heart is beating fast
Shiver as you grab my neck
Baby, blindfold me
Daddy it's better when I don't know what to expect
Babe I need some discipline tonight
Don't hold backI've been very bad
Make me cry
Oooo...
Got to make me cry
Oooo...
Babe
Did I upset you Daddy
Take out your frustrations on me
Did I make you madTake out your frustrations on me
you be the teacher I'll be the student
Tell me to do it, and I will do it
I'm under your command
you be the teacher I'll be the student
Tell me to do it, and I will do it
Take out your frustrations on me
I misbehaved, done some things I know I shouldn't do
I touched myself, even though you told me not to
You commanded me to wait for you I tried
But I can smell you on my sheets
Taste you on my skin so vividly
Daddy I disobeyed you
Now I want you to come punish me
Babe I need some discipline tonight
Don't hold backI've been very bad
Make me cry
Oooo...
Got to make me cry
Oooo...
Babe
Oh... misbehaved
And my punishment should fit my crime
Tie me to something
Take off all my clothes
Daddy I want you to take your time (I'm scared)
My heart is beating fast
Shiver as you grab my neck
Baby, blindfold me
Daddy it's better when I don't know what to expect
Babe I need some discipline tonight
Don't hold backI've been very bad
Make me cry
Oooo...
Got to make me cry
Oooo...
Babe
Did I upset you Daddy
Take out your frustrations on me
Did I make you madTake out your frustrations on me
you be the teacher I'll be the student
Tell me to do it, and I will do it
I'm under your command
you be the teacher I'll be the student
Tell me to do it, and I will do it
Take out your frustrations on me
The Greatest Ex
My momma told me that this could happen to me
That he would grow to be this sexy man
But I just couldn't see
Cause I had my blinders on I was in my zone
And I had the thought of us in my head
Somehow I turned us all off
And then I met him, and he wasn't you
Then I dropped my head thinkin what should I do
Oh I
I loved you, and
You love me
And I just couldn't see tomorrow, baby
And I cared for you
And I didn't see us through
Now I know in my heart you will always be
The greatest ex ever
Now I can't do a simple thing like fall asleep
Cause I can't close my eyes
Without a day with you in my dreams, dreams
Sometimes I call your phone just to hear your tone
And I never say nothing
Wait just a couple of seconds to hear you breathe
And then I'm gone
But he's not like you
Can't help but to hold my head
Thinkin what did I do
Oh I
And I know that it's all my fault
And it would be a lie if I said you didn't cross my mind at all
How do I erase from my days that's shaded and blue
All my luv's with you
Truth or Dare-TRUTH
My momma told me that this could happen to me
That he would grow to be this sexy man
But I just couldn't see
Cause I had my blinders on I was in my zone
And I had the thought of us in my head
Somehow I turned us all off
And then I met him, and he wasn't you
Then I dropped my head thinkin what should I do
Oh I
I loved you, and
You love me
And I just couldn't see tomorrow, baby
And I cared for you
And I didn't see us through
Now I know in my heart you will always be
The greatest ex ever
Now I can't do a simple thing like fall asleep
Cause I can't close my eyes
Without a day with you in my dreams, dreams
Sometimes I call your phone just to hear your tone
And I never say nothing
Wait just a couple of seconds to hear you breathe
And then I'm gone
But he's not like you
Can't help but to hold my head
Thinkin what did I do
Oh I
And I know that it's all my fault
And it would be a lie if I said you didn't cross my mind at all
How do I erase from my days that's shaded and blue
All my luv's with you
Truth or Dare-TRUTH
Jan 5, 2009
peace in your arms
My heart said a silent prayer
Dedicated to my bleeding love
Beating steadily
Loving on a dying breath
If I were an old me
I still would wish you needed me
Every minute of every day like I needed you
All the sleepless nights
I cried waking the daylight
Love helped to release me
Of this non-existent hope
My heart smiles so many times over
When my love was there
It you continually chose to miss
Though I never regretted
Any shedded tears
It was genuwine care
Now if your presence crosses my mind
I still smile awhile
And feel an invisible kiss
You still reach out to me
Ever this heart remembers your name
Never will it forget
First love's impact
Every smile
Laughter
And tear this heart ensnared
I don't know my heart's plea
But it must have silently spoken loudly
Because somehow you came to me
Again you rang
Now you needed me
Only this time
It was your heart's distress
The feeling all too familar
Yet you never answered my continual calls
But somehow I can't disconnect
And tell you not to recollect
You say you needed peace with me
To manifest in the flesh
I trusted not my fragile heart
A greater force
Steps ordered by him
Maybe it wasn't my prayer but his
To deal with the past
And so I walked to where my past sat
Pleading with me
You are no stranger to me
Still I crave not an embrace
The words chased
Now start to percolate
And again it was genuwine care
Last good-byes were ugly
But found in my heart
To see you
Now in a different light
Calming and easy
Even when I spoke of him
Still you don't feel the same
You said you can't let go
That you are no good to anyone
You miss me
Thinking of me
Every second
Of everyday
Now the roles have reversed
Only this time I am no longer there
This toxic love has gone to waste
For what seemed like an eternity
A million shared stares
Still null words
That held premature existence
No care withheld
Even with stunted answers
We both smiled
I admit each a painful
But unshrouded one
Intrupted by a familar reality
We now needed to say good-bye
Once again
Still left with a million unspoken words
Of all the rights gone wrong
Maybe there will never be enough time
To say all the things we should have
Everything still cannot encompass
Each heart's sorry
To kiss
To embrace
To eternally miss
In your arms
Never a failing reason
Other than death's eternal kiss
Love immortalized
First love can never be dismissed.
Dedicated to my bleeding love
Beating steadily
Loving on a dying breath
If I were an old me
I still would wish you needed me
Every minute of every day like I needed you
All the sleepless nights
I cried waking the daylight
Love helped to release me
Of this non-existent hope
My heart smiles so many times over
When my love was there
It you continually chose to miss
Though I never regretted
Any shedded tears
It was genuwine care
Now if your presence crosses my mind
I still smile awhile
And feel an invisible kiss
You still reach out to me
Ever this heart remembers your name
Never will it forget
First love's impact
Every smile
Laughter
And tear this heart ensnared
I don't know my heart's plea
But it must have silently spoken loudly
Because somehow you came to me
Again you rang
Now you needed me
Only this time
It was your heart's distress
The feeling all too familar
Yet you never answered my continual calls
But somehow I can't disconnect
And tell you not to recollect
You say you needed peace with me
To manifest in the flesh
I trusted not my fragile heart
A greater force
Steps ordered by him
Maybe it wasn't my prayer but his
To deal with the past
And so I walked to where my past sat
Pleading with me
You are no stranger to me
Still I crave not an embrace
The words chased
Now start to percolate
And again it was genuwine care
Last good-byes were ugly
But found in my heart
To see you
Now in a different light
Calming and easy
Even when I spoke of him
Still you don't feel the same
You said you can't let go
That you are no good to anyone
You miss me
Thinking of me
Every second
Of everyday
Now the roles have reversed
Only this time I am no longer there
This toxic love has gone to waste
For what seemed like an eternity
A million shared stares
Still null words
That held premature existence
No care withheld
Even with stunted answers
We both smiled
I admit each a painful
But unshrouded one
Intrupted by a familar reality
We now needed to say good-bye
Once again
Still left with a million unspoken words
Of all the rights gone wrong
Maybe there will never be enough time
To say all the things we should have
Everything still cannot encompass
Each heart's sorry
To kiss
To embrace
To eternally miss
In your arms
Never a failing reason
Other than death's eternal kiss
Love immortalized
First love can never be dismissed.
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