if heaven had a height you would be that tall

i saw heaven today...
it was in his eyes...
i heard angels today..
his i love you echoed so sound..
i saw heaven today....

may the Lord make his face to shine upon me

"To err is human to forgive divine"

-Pope Alexander

and on this day our love was infinite

It is so true that when you love your partner you become connected to that person in every possible way. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. You and that person have created a life changing bond. Their grief is yours, their happiness is yours, their troubles are yours. You passionately feel for one another through this connection. And if ever both individuals don't stay together for the remainder of your lives which in most cases doesn't happen. If sincere and requited love is truly involved you will never forget the experience and how that person made you feel because of this.

Today began just a beautiful as any other. It started with the daily devotions and breakfast. This love I always appreciate. I pray in thanksgiving for the allowance to see another day and experience the never-changing and faithful love of both my heavenly father and my babe. I pray for the family I've been blessed with and for strength and comfort to the burdened and hurting that I do not know. I pray for the protection of many and for the forgiveness of my short-comings. I pray for the wisdom to receive the knowledge in whatever is placed before me and a discerning spirit to identify it all. I pray for the strength to deal with unexpected challenges that life surely brings. I am in thanksgiving for the blessings I cannot see but through faith believe that they will surely come.


He soothes my heart and encourages my spirit. Yet now my heart is abit burdened. That connection is being tested. His fatherhood is on trial. I can only now empathise and be the support that he needs. I believe that this only a test and this too shall pass. The bible says that God will never give us more than we can bear. These past months for us have constantly been a test. And is proven in our daily interaction with one another and others. God is ever-faithful and I put this situation entirely in his hands. In the meantime I will continue to pray for strength to be the woman that the man needs now and to be in the place that both of needs to be for God to work.

"Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart."

Psalm 27:14

love chapter

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does no boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does no delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

(1 Corinthians13:4-8)

All the love of the father

Taking me farther

Than anything I've ever seen

I am amazed

-Jonas Brothers

You dance over me

While I´m unaware

You sing all around

But I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by you

-Desperation

I've learned I still have alot to learn

It's safe to say we don't all chose the right path sometimes for whatever reason. And not all the time the worst of the worst happens but you can come pretty close and then you question maybe I should have or what if. But regardless of the outcome is I for one have had experiences as my better teacher on countless occasions and can safely say I have a better appreciation for life and people because of it all.

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you second chances."

By profession I encounter hundreds of persons on a daily basis. I'm expected to render a pleasant and welcoming personality. But we all know that there are days when you just don't even want to get up out of bed or better yet get to work and deal with people. However, even on one of those days where I'm just not my best I try and sometimes I'm shined upon and God allows someone with a kind heart to approach me even in the smallest of ways to brighten my day.

"I've learned that you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or a friendly smile"

Life can be pretty fast paced these days. The simplest of things like taking a walk for lunch as opposed to driving or whether or not to take that route to work because of traffic can sometimes be crazy. So many detours and time just breezes by when you wish it could just slow down a little. Breaking away from the norm is sometimes so worth it. Rather than running around on errands on little windows of opportunity take the time to see a mid-day matinee or window shop in the mall. Even so the best things in life are unexpected like a flower left on my car by my love or running into a good friend you haven't seen in awhile makes these sometimes hectic days so worthwhile.

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision."

Most people are either products of their environments, experiences or circumstances whether they care to admit it or not. There are people in this life that you will no doubtingly encounter that have chips on their shoulders and make it their necessary to tick others off for no apparent reason. The saying never spoken so truly 'misery loves company'. There are times when I feel under the weather and don't wish to be bothered because I feel sick. But too there are times when I can be intentionally bitchy or down right sarcastic towards whomever I feel maybe responsible for my mood. Regardless it's never okay to rain on someone else's parade just because things aren't in your favor. I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

"I've learned that when I have pains, I don't have to be a pain."

Daily the news reeks of death, war, financial turmoil and crisis. And it can at times seem like things only get worse. There maybe a small insertion of some academically inclined child or some act of humanitarianism towards abused animals but not enough publicized good to counteract the bad. I feel for the eyes of seniors who have been here for decades who witness today and try to hold on to memories of their yesterday. Even in my youth I feel this way towards things as simple as TV programmes. Those days where cartoon programs started from 6am and weren't preceded by nonsense paid-programming that now cuts into the few decent shows. I miss being able to throw anything in the shopping cart and getting into the check-out line and not worrying about the price of staple products like milk and my favorite cereal's rising cost. Yet there is appreciation for the do-gooders that see this and donate to charities to feed the homeless, aid orphanages and help families who've lost jobs. In addition to life changing programmes like big brother organizations that remove children from negative surroundings and involve them in activities that contribute to their future.

"I've learned no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life goes on, and it will be better tomorrow."

I don't think by any means that I have it all together but I believe that you are allowed to experience things and if you get through it in whatever capacity it is for the sole purpose for you to learn from it or be an example to someone that maybe going through the same situation or encounter it someday. I've always been an observant individual and would much rather express myself in writing. I've found that when I'm negatively affected by something it's easily expressed in my writing but if I were to act on or verbalise and not so much in the heat of the moment but whenever it aroused it wouldn't be pretty. I would intentionally aim to make others feel worse than I felt even if they didn't know right away. This was a subconscious trait in myself I didn't realise until I encountered individuals I had forged personal relationships with told me how I made them feel even if it was last week or even years ago. Having my character verbalised by persons whose well beings mattered to me was something that at first I wasn't prepared to deal with. And still to some extent today if I see that said rearing it's ugly little head I would still chose to sweep things under the rug so to speak if I don't deem it as serious to me. That is until it gets so big that I must deal with whatever the issue. I'm becoming more aware of others feelings and trying not to be so selfish and absorbed in myself. I have alot more love to give and I receive alot of love. But it's always better to give than receive. I truly enjoy my own happiness more when persons I am surrounded by are happy as well and even better when I've contributed to this in some way. I'm thankful to be blessed with the man in my life who probably can attest best to this me and who I owe alot of my growth and maturity to in recent months. I thank you for being so understanding and loving through it all. I'm still working on myself and continue to ask God to help me to be a better individual.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

the best