there's only so much you can do, but if somebody doesn't give you the chance there's nothing you can do

As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.

-Dalai Lama

but everybody knows almost doesn't count

There are a million thoughts that won't escape me. If it pains you so much to try to be with me then not try to. I asked to not be strung along and still I need that courtsey. It's more than obvious that you've moved on in every possible way. So there is no love to force. I see it everytime I look at you, there is a distance in your eyes. I only wish you could be honest and tell me truth in what I ask even though to you my actions may not be your version of being able to handle the truth. I'm telling you all this once more because most of all I miss you and the love we once had. You said it would never be the same and it's apparent that you want no better from us while you continue your search for the one or maybe you've already met her. It hurts that you thrive in the secretcey of text messages, unanswered calls only when I'm around, social networks and messenger where I conlcude that you are your true self. Free to relish in the adoration of others and explore all the options of what if. This time I wanted to believe you were ready to commit 100% for us but that is not the case. Why ask me back? Why live with a stress? Why tolerate an annoyance? Why conieve and lie?

 Nevertheless I pray your happiness the same I for mines. No one deserves pain if they've truly sot forgiveness. I wait for the day God smiles upon my heart with an unfaltering, never-failing and unquestionable love. For now I can no longer willfully allow you to cause me to hurt and call it love when we both know what it's not. There is no absolution in convincing yourself or worse myself of trying when you know that your heart left a long time ago. I can say that I love you whole-heartedly even still without bias of the known past or the persent person that you are now. I still needed and wanted to be yours because I still believed in what my heart felt and my mind forgave. I stand in this place alone and unregretably I know that a life's lesson will come from all this and at best my son that I've always wanted even when you didn't or ever will. There still is no bitterness nor spite because I willingly allowed all this for a love I proclaimed so in the end there is only myself to blame. Our day may never come but I'll always be reminded that you were almost the one.