trivial

you'll have dry eyes after some time

I'd stay in bed at dawn each morn
And let the pain
Overtake the waken me
I'd lay in silence
Wondering why we just couldn't try
It's hard to lean on beliefs
That everything for a reason
And to each in it's season
When the object of one's affection
Has become the repelling lesson

"I don't understand a God who would let us meet if we couldn't be together"

-City of Angels

the best love awakens the soul and makes you reach for more

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory

Cause I put too much energy in him and me

Can't wait til I get throught this phase cause it's killing me

Too bad we can't rewrite our own history

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain't how it suppose to be

When I opened my eyes

I could see you draining out of me

Hurting and pulling

And for a moment

I wished I were still dreaming

But it's true here's no fairytale ending

if you believe in love at first sight you never stop looking

He smiled this way today
Cheeky faces meet
His sublime pleasantry
Disarmed the aching me
He came over weightless
As though he never even touched the ground
Then he whispered
And out came sounds of serenity
With the face of an angel
Divinity spoke
He said
Hello stranger I dreamed of you last night

"I'll be waiting....waiting for you to leave me"

love without moderation

the time that moves too fast

the love that's become the past

when he says he'll leave you never

even harder after he's gone forever

the love that went away

...she told him that the poetry would always remain, she would tattoo it on her soul and recite it at the dawn of mornings to remember each day that she was loved...

...she told him that he was the wind that set her ship a sail in the sweet summer breeze and in summer he could always come to the shores where he'd find her waiting...

...she told him how the rain crept on her face and each drop reminded her of each kiss, that rainy days would always be her favorite because she'd dance with him in a thousand kisses..

...she told him she'd never forget the way he said her name, how each time it flowed so gently from his lips, how each night she'd fall asleep with his whisper to her ears bringing his awaken memory to the slumber of her dreams...

..she told him that she'd love him always, the lover she'd endlessly remember, her forever love she'd miss a lifetime, even though he went away leaving his greatest love behind...

had we never met or never parted never been broken-hearted

And though the pieces
Haven't quite fallen away
I still miss and press replay
Remembering you
In all your uncanny ways
Even now your redolence resides
I try not to dwell here
But I linger awhile
Somehow these moments
Yet cause a smile

I was changed by you
Made to exist and resist
As much as I pushed
Never once a hit and miss
This here I'll always remember
Started the moment you embraced me
Saved by the promise to
Always remain the same
And refrain from past love's reins

I never expected you to be the one
Who'd abandon unannounced
I can hide the hurt and pain
But not love that's gone to waste
Seems hypocritical yet I chase the haste
Not to start over in reverse

"In secret we met in silence I grieve that this heart could forget loves reprieve"

for some moments in life there are no need for words

blood rush to my head

Breathe.
Now this is totally fine considering the circumstances.
Those were some major moments of weakness.
I guess everyone's allowed to at least once.
From forever to never.
Sincere dismissals.
Breathe.
I know tears on my pillow.
But it was really pathetic on the floor.
Talk about the melodramatics.
Breathe.
The feeling indescribable.
Whisk away quickly the memory.
That I keep hearing.
Too much of a good thing isn't good.
Even the sun burns after a while.
Time swells.
Breathe.
Nonetheless it was a nice adrenaline release.
Until next time or not.
Breathe.
From my heart to yours.

sober thoughts

"I'd rather go blind than see you walk away from me"

-Etta James

Put me back on your wishlist.
Let's start working on a first second kiss.
I'm yearning for those arms.
That hold the right fit.
Feigning for that connection.
No other love permits.

These erratic behaviours.
Plague my mind.
I won't sleep through this.
But if we must.
Give me a resolution to finish with.

Don't rely on words we've played.
They wound the worse.
In the most familar ways.
Caressed expressions only cause regress.
Silent acceptance resounds.
I'll turn away blind.

exposed to the elements

Out of my chest

And through the mud

Gasping each time

Reaching for a lifeline

The one you pulled away

Long before its time

I'll survive

Until all the tears

Have washed away

And weather the storm

Committed to see the sunshine

Even though the skies

Turned grey

Every day til is beautiful

-Robin Thicke

before dawn and after sunset

I'll close my eyes
And be gone again
There I'll get the chance
To say I love you once more
Pretend that you're still mine
And that my heart's not breaking each time



You can be mad in the morning
I'll take back what I said
Just don't leave me alone here
It's cold baby
Come back to bed
-John Mayer

jah love

you'll never find

no one in this lifetime

to love you like I do

so never mind

let time unwind

anytime you need a lover

call on me I'll be waiting

anytime you need a lover

call on me my heart is aching

call on me anytime you want to

call on me baby I want you

i feel my humaness in these hours of solitude

Yet I know there's something beautiful in all my imperfections.

problem.cause.solution.

And I can't be mad.
He saw an opportunity and took it.
So now he can be reunited with his baby.
I always knew they'd be the end of me.
Whimsical beliefs flee.
Replays will only cause delay.
Despite I smile awhile.
Love still waits.

"I'll cry about this later. I'm just too tired to return the favor"

C'est le vie

And I wonder today if this is how some people really feel inside. Like they've given up everything that they've ever held dear to them just because they felt that love took control. And then it seems like a time comes when the shine wears away and they end up feeling like that guy. Alone with no where or no one to go to.

Can love really do that?

I would have never believed before until now. The crazy things people do for love and I believe most do regret what they gave up. Despite all the memories and hearty plans. Life before the love would have probably been better than the present circumstance if you look like that guy. Love's ride usually holds much happiness along with the hardships. However, most people don't look like that guy from their outward appearances. You'd think people are happy with their present circumstances. Some of the most successful looking relationships are filled with misery and pain of people with pretend smiles. When on the inside they feel like that guy and too are wondering how's it that they ended up here or knowingly beat themselves up about the 'whys' and 'what-ifs' of it all. People will always fail you in some way or another because the human heart is that of expectancy. We expect people to give us exactly what we need or sometimes even more. And real love is not that of expectancy. It's not expecting any and giving much. You only can get to this point when individuals understand the nature of love and its creator.

"And in the end we always remember our beginning"

God is love. Love in its purest form is the love of God. Agape. This is when we can love ourselves and others as Christ loves us. The best example I can give of that love is Christ sending his son for the love he had for humanity not to see us perish in our own sinful nature.So he gave his son up all in total sacrifice for humanity many of which who still didn't believe then and still now. Nonetheless when you're going through the hardship of giving it all for love don't feel wary because even Jesus cried out "Lord why have you forsaken me?!" on the cross. An irrefutable human emotion that he was not wrong to feel though he knew in his heart the purpose and the outcome of it all. In spite of, just as Christ you may feel abandoned and hurt because of it all, continue to be faithful and believe if it's Gods' will he'll put you through it to see you through it and if not his will he delivers those that want to be set free. Yet as individuals we are all afforded free-will to chose our own paths and to thread wherever they may lead us. Live.Love.Laugh.

because I'll always have you

I wish you hold on to

every word I say

I hope you mean

every apology you ever tell

I wish you'd think about

how much it hurts

I pray we never give up

on our love

I hope that someday you remember

everything I will never forget

I pray that with each passing day

you become the man God wants

I know that each day

you are becoming the best man I've ever known

"this years love had better last"

-David Grey

if you don't know what you want you end up with alot you don't

Some people would say that when two individuals get married throughout the course of the marriage these two individuals do not remain the same two individuals that they were when they first got married. Because people are constantly changing but the fact would elude more true for younger individuals. So it's safe to say that whilst you're dating or in whatever series that the relationship is at that you are in fact liable to change at some point. Some people do put on a mask only allowing their significant other to see all the traits that they would believe will impress them. I can honestly say that I have never been that person to hold back my true self to impress someone I was in a relationship with. I believe that if I appear to good to be true in the beginning it's only because of the elements. Which can be environment and people at the certain point in time. If we're only going out and hanging out in controlled environments. I reasonably assume that there won't be anything to cause me to have a negative reaction. However, as time progresses and we get familiar with other elements and you seem my reaction to something seem less has traffic for example. Now my impatience is magnified. So you could say I don't like waiting . I would rather wake up hours before I'm suppose to be somewhere just to avoid traffic or if I know something has to be done in advance. I won't take the chance of being late or getting caught in traffic. Even if just the same the traffic didn't cause my tardiness. I don't like traffic. If I believe that I am going to inconvenience someone I would let them know in advance as to prepare or I will find an alternative. It is in fact true that if you don't have a plan you are willing to go in any direction. I am a purposed being. Moving without purpose makes me feel out of my element.

"Change is envitable, growth is intentional"

-Herbert Otto

I believe in chivalry. I am in love with the classic gentleman the guy that will open the car door for me, pull out my chair, call in on me to see if I'm alright, check the hood of my car, thoughtful things like that. Most if not all woman can appreciate a man like that because many do not exist today. I too appreciate all this while maintaining my independence. If a guy doesn't do all these things and more for me while getting to know him. I can only over look it for a short while it is safe to say this wouldn't be a long-term relationship. Not to say that I will have nothing to do with a guy that doesn't spoil me on the contrary. I appreciate a thoughtful spirit because I am one. I would want to associate with someone who takes my best interest into concern in every aspect because I chose to make my significant other a priority in my life. I should never feel like a choice in theirs. Sometimes people do forget or miss but if something is apart of your nature I don't believe that there is an excuse. Sometimes becoming acquainted to a new way of doing takes some time. I can attest to this because of my own personal experience. But I wouldn't require someone to become what I want. I appreciate individuals being themselves even if I don't like it. There will always be someone that appreciates them for the qualities they possess. I don't believe that I am a high-maintenance person or hard to please. I do believe that alot of persons are just low-maintenance in themselves. They want a mate that is always there for them on a daily-basis and especially in times of need but they cannot reciprocate in the same way. Some mates fail to see the significance of the smallest deeds in the everyday life of relationships. I suppose this what can be considered as complacency. A relationship should never become complacent. If it does failure is inevitable.

"Nothing of me is original I am the combined effort of everybody I've known."

-Chuck Palahniuk

In my opinion relationships are the highest order of human interaction because all human interaction is in fact relationship that can be classed into personal and impersonal ones. In my own personal relationship with the opposite sex I have never until this point in my life had a plan for what I wanted out of a relationship prior to being in one. In the past I would make known what I stood for and what I wouldn't stand for only when I saw that which I didn't and did want. Which lead to disaster because that person was already set in their ways and my silence all the time before was approval. I believe in the positive change of an individual but a person has to truly want that for themself first before another person can ever benefit from it. I like many have been hurt by past relationships for that same reason. You cannot allow someone to back you emotionally into a corner and not counteract their actions before it gets to the point where you become hurt by it.

"Know yourself, master yourself, conquest of self is most gratifying."

-Unknown Author

In these past months I have become a very different individual in regard to relationships. A type of commitment that I said I did not want but by means I still cannot explain have committed myself to. I believe that everyone comes into our lives for reasons. Some short term and some long term. But nonetheless with the purpose though not known to most to teach a lesson. Sometimes we then cause these individuals to go contrary to their purpose when we ourselves do not know when to let go or perhaps let go too soon. But life is a continual teacher and we learn from our mistakes and sometimes too that of others. Sometimes I can be impatient. Sometimes I am rude. Sometimes I do not think before I speak. Sometimes I do not think before I act. Sometimes I am easily angered. Sometimes I am inconsiderate. Sometimes I am too easy going. Yet all the time I am myself. I appreciate people who appreciate me for the qualities I possess. Those that are permanent and those that are temporary qualities. I live now with a plan and purpose for my life. Letting it be known what I will and will not stand for. When we're young we all assume that we have so much time. I'm still learning that this is not the case. None of us know the time of our own death or the coming of Christ. I live my life to the fullest and without regret. I only apologize for the mistakes along the way I am certain to make that will sometimes affect the ones I love. God is merciful and faithful to carry me over those paths that I stumble as I ask his forgiveness.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 3: 12-14

the art

By: Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.