Love til it hurts, when it hurts there's only Love left

NOTE TO SELF: YOU CAN'T ENJOY THE PRESENT IF YOU'RE STUCK IN THE PAST...
To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find their own happiness without expecting them to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

i am enough

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern.

Beautiful people do not just happen.

A Poem for Swingers by Charles Bukowski

I like women who haven’t lived with too many men.
I don’t expect virginity but I simply prefer women
Who haven’t been rubbed raw by experience.

There is a quality about women who choose
Men sparingly;
It appears in their walk
In their eyes
In their laughter and in their
Gentle hearts.

Women who have had too many men
Seem to choose the next one
Out of revenge rather than with
Feeling.

When you play the field selfishly everything
Works against you:
One can’t insist on love or
Demand affection.
You’re finally left with whatever
You have been willing to give
Which often is:
Nothing.

Some women are delicate things
Some women are delicious and
Wondrous.

If you want to piss on the sun
Go ahead
But please leave them
Alone.

encompassed by profound thoughts

Tank along with my oldies from Etta Jones to The Temptations, have been my Mellow playlist as of late. Seemingly melancholy but not quite just enjoying the stories loves telling from loving making to heart aching as I continue to document my own journey.

In another life I'd make you stay, so I wouldn't have to say you were the one that got away

For broken hearts:

You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. 
Don't. It's a bad word, belong.
You can't own a human being. 
You can't lose what you don't own. 
Suppose you did own him. 
Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? 
You really want somebody like that?
Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? 
You don't, do you?
And neither does he.
You're turning over your whole life to him.
Your whole life.
And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, 
Hand it to him, 
Then why should it mean any more to him? 
He can't value you more than you value yourself.

Love yourself, so you recognize when its practiced on you.

In Love with my Journey

I'm amazed with the blessings
That my daily life brings
God is making me aware
Of a greatness that's always 
Been within me.


The universe knew this
But I wasn't focused
Eyes open
But still I missed it

See I was sending
Mixed signals
So the past was always
Mixed up
Always needing to be
Fixed up


Now the scales of have been
Knifed away from my eyes 
And my mind
I've realized resolve
And its always been so much involved
Than the premature
Only what I saw


It's a depth beyond
The surface
I'm learning it's better to 
Understand than be understood
To embrace
Learning to love  God's way
Than being loved my way

Enemies 
And challenges
Aren't the physical
But this is real
A manifestation within me

I am the magnet for my life
Drawn to creating righteous over right
Focused on loving every aspect of my life
Continually breathing positivity
Over strife

even when its not happy there's always an ending

This year
The world didn't come to and end
An Apocalypse didn't cease to halt our existence

Though I feel mines has halted in more ways than one
Now his hugs aren't mine anymore
He'll never kiss me deeply
With me he shifted repeatedly
Gears never quite found its fit

I had bent and break
Cleaning and washing
All the grim that I could get out
I missed the stained washed tears
Nothing covered the open wounds
The untainted words 
And unforgivable action

He  made the final current call
But it wasn't me he was trying to figure out
Not my language of love but anothers'
All this time wasted and abused
Not one bit amused
Love removed

"I'm done"  all the wondering
Headache
Heartache
Figuring out
Time out

Repeated rendezvous of mistaken love
There was always another miss
He misses reaches to reunite with 
Or make a night with

This Love
Will never be enough
Not where he wants to be
His aim is much better
Do better love
Take care 



  

Heart

This is now

Alot can make a heart so cruel
Ruthless and unwilling to rule
After all the wrong the right will come along
I fight to keep Love alive
In a place so frigid and cold
This heart's destroyed
And every beat seems so much less than the one before
Someday the one will come
Until then I fight to keep a beaten heart beat alive.