ode to love

I don't even know where to start. But I guess I'll say what's for certain and never-changing in spite of and no matter what with tears in my eyes and the perpetual tugging in my chest is that 'I love you'. I know you've heard me say it many times before and I still don't think you really believe or feel me. This love I have for you never have I given another. You have been an unimaginable happiness in my life and now I only see you grieve and it hurts to no relief that I cannot be what you are to me when all I want to be is all that you'll ever need. You believed at some point that I was the one he kept for you but now your heart's crying out and it's not for me. It can't be when I'm ever near you miss the real in me repeatedly. My heart feels for you but your words you hold sincere they aren't clear they wound and purge lingering tears. This cannot be when I just want to be yours to have and to hold only you dear to listen and caress all the words the ones I knew that were always sincere. When tears were that of happiness these days no longer exist and you I constantly miss. I'm in love with the man that loved me back flaws in all and helped me to be the best me. Now your unconscious words are left straining at my anxious heart that won't let go but I'm holding onto to faint memories where this man left me. You are no longer here and I close my eyes and sleep hoping that when I awake maybe this time his love would come back to me. I stare awhile and miss the forever in your eyes this love has been chased. I ly in this restless slumber where another may rest her head someday and you will be her bed. You will tell the words I still hear about how much you care and all the love you have that will forever be there. I wonder will you remember me. Will I be just another dismissed memory the past left to pass. These thoughts hurt so much but I need you near.

You are my love. Though this land is barren I stay steadfast to the belief in the beauty that is to come. I've never been here before. This is my first encounter of true love. You've said that I don't know what love is. I always baffle in this consequential statement. I may have been many things when we met but like no time before have I ever been this. So maddening and captivated with someone that even in the depth of despair care didn't linger there. I was certain of trials that were to come but even though it would seem like I turned and walked away. I still wait in reprieve for this love to heal. I cannot forget the first time I saw your face and my heart took its place. I cannot forget willingly making myself this vulnerable vessel that I am now open to every chastisement and criticism because I withheld nothing when maybe I should have. Yet I apologize for the pain the many unnecessary honesties have caused but for this you that this love genuinely produced I hold none in regret. To you my heart repeatedly calls I can no longer fall I am forever unbeautifully yours I will be loves constant cause because I need you like no other before. My forever doesn't exist if it's not with you. No one can ever love me like you do. It hurts to love like this for the first time but I cannot fail you are my Mr. I am your Mrs. I've seen the beauty manifested through you and I where love took us to blissful heights together but for now we linger in valleys of emotional peaks where I believe love's left us to metamorphose into something ever more beautifully. And if even you still doubt if love ever enough recollect to the first encounter of the illogical that became plausible because of two distant strangers that met when everyone else slept reasoning with unknown magnetic attractions which was enough to uncover diamonds in the rough.

"You take me to another place there's no more war, just love and grace. Baby you've restored my faith. I know the struggles not in vain."

-John Legend

had to be the time

Is your heart for me
Can it really still be
This heart of mine won't let go
You are all of me
Embracing you I miss feeling
Our two hearts beating
Fingers tracing all forbidden places
Your heart cries out.

this is going to bring me to my knees...this is going to take the heart right out of me

You let go

So I let go too

Don't want to miss your face

Erasing you is a must

This love was never enough

I have to find peace of mind

It's going to take some energy

Trapped in my memories

Don't be mad at me

I'm not the me I use to be

Everyday is another chance

Til it's beautiful

Love is always possible

never thought that I'd fall for you as hard as I did

There's so much to say

But the words
They never come out that way
And I can never stop
For you I'll always answer the call
You still consume my heart
This I cannot easily dismiss
I'll be there for each kiss
Damaging but promised to no other

You I'm constantly needing
I know I must get through this

I awake to the comfort in your face
Immediately drawn to be closer
I want to be wrapped up in you
Lovers under the covers
No care
Never to mind
Then just as instantly as you intoxicate me
I'm reminded of the current circumstance
If only now love could take
Us back in time
We'd see reflections maybe could understand

I cannot resist you
Nor do I want
But after this ecstasy
You leave my heart even more torn
This needing is too weakening
Got it bad
I have to break this bad habit
Can't take this no more

i decided long ago to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear

So there are some individuals who believe that I think that I'm better than other people and that I'm stuck up because of reasons I don't even care to mention. That being said if you and/or other parties involved are bothered by my confidence you may want to check your own level of self-esteem. I mean saying unnecessary and untrue shit about others who don't even know that you exist is really shallow. Some people should really find better pastimes. I really could give a shit less what you think of me. Obviously you watching my life signifies the lack of depth thereof in your own. I rep 'Rich Girls' but in that regard it doesn't relate directly to money itself. I'm rich in love, beauty, intelligence, independence, realness, and talent. And if you disagree, prove yourself wrong but first of all stop going around saying 'you know me'! I'm not here to impress you. Better yet stay watching my continual rise from that pathetic level below you at.

"You cannot hate other people without hating yourself"

-Oprah

if the Lord asked me what I did with my life I would say I spent it with you

This time it really hurts.
I'm afraid if manifested into words.
It will make it all to real.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
If each kiss and the missing.
Would release the longing .
Maybe then  I could feel it.
Only he benefits from this temporary fix.
Now my dreams are evaded with the potentials.
That may have always existed.
Just now they're next on his list.
I'm drifting away.
Love would have hurt to make me stay.

yet you still want to be the one

I don't want you anymore.
But I need you around.
I see the way you hurt people.
I don't want you to hurt me like that again.
No one walks away from you.
And I know why I can't.
You're real and I like that.
I've got to be that someone you're with.


-HisRealityCheck