something you broke

"If you had help fixing something you broke

Wouldn't you still try your best to fix it?

I believe that it would show true sincerity

Over what was broken

The attempt to regain what was lost

Would be valiant if you really cared

An open reassurance of heart would be there

No room for question would ever need arise."

After all the lies
And forced tears
I was my own personal witness
To your confessing love for another
I still believed in your adjusted truth

After all the lies
And forced tears
Everytime you waited until I left
To admire and dote on Facebook and Messenger
Always for another
I still believed that I this time I could be enough

After all the lies
And forced tears
For every love letter pleading your case
Of your true love for another
Me you wrote no longer
I still believed you held some sincerity for me

After all the lies
And forced tears
When you accused me of infidelities
I didn't commit
All of which you used as fuel and reason
To presue and bed others
I still believed love could be healed

After all the lies
And forced tears
You still rejected all arguments
And repeated all the same treads
The worst of all humiliation damning my unborn
I still believed the unspoken apologies

After all the lies
And forced tears
You said you wanted to really be there
But actions drowned out the words
Late parties and club hopping 
All the repeated signs you wanted to be elsewhere
I still believed even when you weren't there

After all the lies
And forced tears
Then you pretended like you were the one in need of care
Played me like a fool
Used and trashed me
All for the others
Back to a true more comfortable you
Apologetic when caught
Only sorry you were found out

After all the lies
And forced care
You still aren't sincere
Continuous moves with the venom of a serpent
And slumber like a fugitive on the run
There are no actions nor words of true love
Or future commitments of 'I do'
I believe you left your heart in another's bed

daddy of two, father of one

He's sorry he couldn't be your first born
Or that you weren't there
When he cried his first tear
He's sorry you won't wipe his eyes
Because him you never hear

He's sorry his eyes aren't as bright
And he doesn't know the words
To make you smile outright
And hold him dear

He's sorry that you're not concerned
Whether he's livid or his bladder has turned
You won't feed him unless
He wails uncontrollably and yearns
Your arms don't comfort nor soothe his fears
He feels how it's cold
And the absence of love and sincerity there

He's sorry you don't take a thousand kodak pictures
And show how proud you are to the world
There are no dedicated portriats for him
Or the promised tattoo
As if you ever really cared

He's sorry he was planned
Then just as quickly unwanted
Aborted mentally and emotionally by you

Despite it all you need not apologize
Because this man will never understand
He loves' only big enough for one another

I'm sorry that he'll never see
The way your smile lights up the room
Or ever care enough to watch how peacefully you sleep
No matter never to mind
You are my heart promised for keeps

This love will never faulter
And you'll never question if I ever love you
Or how much never enough
No matter the cirscumstance
You'll always have mommy-near
Loving you forever
You are my baby bear

time will reveal that you're the one who's loosing

I fell for this boy
When the leaves started to fall from the trees
(11.03.08)
Ever since weve gone through alot of stuff
But could never quite live without each other enough
To let a love like this go to waste
Then the toxic love
Put a bullet through his brain

Take me away from here, take me somewhere where love is like breathing

-John Legend

I'm ready

I've thought long and hard
And I've prayed longer and harder.
I'm ready to say 'I do'
And see all the promises come true

I want to see him down on one knee
Traditionally is meant for me
He'll take me by the hand
As tears weld
I know this moment

When the ring is finally in its place
I won't hesitate to tell the world
Of my infallibly good fate
Save the dates
Announcements
Invites plus two
I'm ready to say 'I do'

The ceremony will take place
At our secret garden
We'll walk down the isle
Covered in a canopy of flowers
Casablanca
Calla Lilies
And Orchids
Will all perfume our sun-kissed skin

This time I'll take his hand
And recite vows that will be made daily anew
I'm ready to say 'I do'

I know I'll have tears of joy
Instead the ones of hurt and pain.
I'm ready to say 'I do'
Take off on honeymoon
And this time see it through

I'll do anything you ask
I promise I can prove once again
I'm committed and true
Pop the question
I'm ready to say 'I do'

For our first kiss on next week

For when we make love in six weeks

For the ring you wore proudly six months from now

For when you said 'I do' next March

And for those beautiful children of ours

Yes, I know it might sound strange cause we just met

But I thank you in advance

-Boys II Men

love actually

There is no such thing as a perfect partner but what if we all stop looking for the perfect partner and in essence became that perfect partner first for ourselves. Striving to love yourself more than anyone else ever could but when you did find someone with an unmistakable love for you and yours there is completion in two beings. Don't ever look for someone that completes you. That should not have to be the duty of another person. It is understandable to feel complete in someone but be sure not to lose your individuality in the process of relationships. That in itself is what makes relationships thrive the differences of two individuals that can co-exist within the likeness of love and all other commonalities.

A relationship takes 100% from both parties involved both giving not in hopes to receive but because of heart. Thus this type of love will be reciprocated without agenda. If you aren't willing to compromise and work through issues and show your partner that you too are willing to grow then a relationship will never flourish. As you get older what we want out of relationships change with each experience but we must never settle. Always remain true to yourself remember what matters to you. Never date someone you couldn't see yourself married to. From the 1st or 2nd date you have an impression about the type of person you're dealing with. If you see something you're not willing to handle and you don't speak up or move on chances are this flaw will worsen over time. Remember that many issues can be made better and others are just a lesson to carry on.


I've now learned from experience and that of others that love is a commitment and not an emotion or bait to gain what you want if only for the moment. Rather if you are willing to love in a relationship vow to be true and remain committed to the finish. Afterall, love should never be a fight but something worth fighting for. I still believe that true love never dies but rather is reciprocated by another.

These are a few traits that we all should aim to possess if not already. It's not about finding the right partner but being the right partner.

Integrity- Being honest is of great importance because most people nowadays only speak out of manipulation to get what they desire from whomever of whatever situation and it really disgusts me that integrity seems not to exist anymore. This just means that some persons have not your best interest at heart only their own which is a sense of selfishness therein love can never exist. Even when the truth hurts it's worth the pain.


Respect- In every sense of the word. The way in which they carry themselves, treats others, and most of all towards your partner.  This means mind, body, soul the person as a whole. In a  relationship no other voice besides you and your partner should be involved.

Fun Loving- Someone of spontaneity with a willingness to try new things. Be able to bring something to the relationship where you can teach your partner, vice versa and always experience something you've both never together. Routine and habit can be a virus to a relationship. Never let the spark go out.

Goal Oriented - Someone who's not financially where they want to be is never a bad thing, but someone who sits in the contentment of mediocrity is. A partner with ideas and goals is a must. Someone who thinks not only about the now but a future and includes you is a great find. If your partner can not commit to even the smallest of goals set forth they can neither be committed to a relationship.


Provider-  A partner with a heart for others will always find a way. Men thrive on being able to provide for their own. Not necessarily to have everything at their fingertips but if only the means by which something can be accomplished. Knowing that one of your obligations as a partner is to take care of what you love is key.

God Fearing- Alot of individuals are caught up only in themselves and what the world can do for them or better yet what they can get out of it. Many people go day by day, thinking it is only by their own hands and the sweat of their brows that life is done. A partner with a sense of spirituality in something higher than ourselves existing is essential. If God is in the midst of a union nothing can be against it.

I will be there when you need someone to run with

I will be there when you need someone to dance with

I'm your lover when the skies turn grey

Every day til' it's beautiful baby

-Robin Thicke

I said good-bye to the devil

I said Goodbye
to the Devil
Though I was
Very shy
I turned around
and walked away
Didn't look him
in the eye
I'd spent months
making my case
Playing the cards
at hand


Proving my loyalty
showing my worth
In hopes that he'd
be my man
Took me a while
But soon I realized
The game but the
Joke was on me


All of the things
I'd wanted from him
was simply
my own fantasy


I said Goodbye
to the Devil
Gathered my courage
And walked away


Full of his empty words
and treating me mean
Sick of his selfish heart
His soul unclean


Tired of the promises
he didn't keep
and the places
we didn't meet
or the hiding behind
night sky
or how in the
daylight
he'd turn a
blind eye


And I like a toy
was played and used
tossed, forgotten
broken and abused


Russian roulette
lover I'd become
Then one day
I was finally done


Over the waiting
And hoping against
hope that
one day...
He'd love me


I Said Goodbye
to the Devil
He Never knew
When I was gone
Sometimes
I see him
in my dreams
but this time
my heart is Done


I love you Divine...compliments to an oh' so perfect you.
This is everything I choked up and couldn't say.
Thank-you for alway being apart of my heart. <3
http://chaile-divine.blogspot.com/

logic or heart

On day I'll be sitting as comfortably as you holding someone's heart. It's amazing when people are created from situations and there is another who will ultimatley and reap the benefits of your spoils. I suppose that what life is about not making a bed that you may ly in but for the benefit or lessons of others. I'm pensive in thought that this burden I ly I won't see me thru to an end and its vastly disappointing. It's like someone asking for time and in that time they're replacing you. This is breaking a heart I thought was all finished up. I am the defeated optimist and relationships are now becoming something of my past maybe I won't ever find that one and I'm now over the entire search. It's odd not believing in soul mates and then beleiving you've found the one to that reversal state maybe it was an unconvincing fable.